A Mass Ex of Us

Ladies (and hopefully gentlemen), I have a confession to make: I have been a serial monogamist for a long time. I'm currently working on a novel entitled: I Don't Want Another Ex-Boyfriend: A Novel in 15 Years. Yes it's true, I'm single and I have been in love many times. My soul has touched and been touched by many men. All types, all sizes, all wrong for me for whatever reasons. So I want you to know, you are not alone out there. My stories are true. They may horrify, shock, compel and anger you. But also know that I have been blissfully happy at times and then painfully miserable at others. I'm newly single and newly confident. It may have taken me 15 years, but I've come to understand much more about myself and my choices in life.

Since I was 18 or so, I have gone through many stages of meeting "the one". And so far I've come to realize that there are many "the one"s. Trust me on this. The idea of a soul mate can crush you, haunt you, stultify you, make you sweat, make you weak in your knees, make you impulsive and make you completely miserable. So if you have "sparked" with more than one man in your life, think of how many more may be out there. I'm not saying that there is a whole naval fleet of them ready to step off the ship and greet you with open arms and a dozen calla lilies, but in my personal opinion you should never try all of your sailor hats out on one man. This can really stop you from living your life...for you.

Remember there is only one of you. And you have to make sure that you are sane and healthy before you step out and offer to share yourself and all that you've become with someone else. And also remember, we all make mistakes, the men included. No one is perfect. No one is completely secure. Doubt will creep in, insecurities may seep out. Learn to forgive and move on. I still have hope. I still feel like one of my soul mates and I will meet at the right time when everything will make sense and fit as well as it possibly can in an age where we are overwhelmed by so many choices.

Look for my next entry about learning from your past mistakes. Because you will learn and it will be a good thing.